The Ideal Man

Before you get too excited, ladies I’m afraid this one is fictional!

So, as most of you know, the whole reason for this challenge is that very recently, I got rather burned by the world of dating.

I had a dream date.  In many ways, it was nothing special – a simple drink in a pub – but the date could have happened anywhere and  still would have been perfect.

My date was interesting, confident, engaging, and attractive.  He was quick and witty, and got my sense of humour.  The more we talked, the more we realised we had in common.  We laughed and chatted, until both our throats were raw.

Most of you know how it all ended up!  And if you don’t, check out The Henley Boy blogpost ….

But whatever the outcome, those four hours, were hands down four of the most fun and exciting hours of my year.

Because I completely clicked with the guy I was the date with, and I really really fancied him.

The problem now, is how to get over that perfect date?? (Particularly when I never really saw any imperfect side to Henley Boy … other than the eventual complete silence!!)

The whole reason I set up this Challenge was to get over HB, and the unwitting bar he set for my love life.  To give myself a kick, and force myself back into the dating game, when frankly a large part of me still wants to curl up and sob into my pillow because I got really rather screwed around when I least expected it.

And so, this post is a little bit of an appeal, I guess.  Because much as I’m enjoying the novelty of juggling texts from random guys, not really worrying what I say to them, and making light of this crazy challenge I’ve let myself in for … a part of me is still rather heart-bruised.

One of the reasons I thought the 30 Dates challenge would be a good idea was because the sheer size of it means that over the next three months dating becomes something comical and fun, and spur of the moment, rather than something pre-meditated and important.

And as already briefly discussed, it also forces me to drop some of my ideals, and go on dates with guys I normally wouldn’t date.

However, at the same time, before the whole Henley Boy saga, I was a pretty happy singleton.  Despite being, shock horror, three months away from 30, I’m really not panicking about not being settled yet.  I’ve always been really independent, and would much rather be single than in a relationship for the sake of it.  I wouldn’t mind being settled, but I won’t just settle!  And if it takes me another 5 years to find someone to grow old with, then I’m really not all that fussed!

I’m not single because I can’t get a date.  I’m single because I know what I want, and I’m prepared to wait to get it.

And so, like all girls, I have ideals.  Some that I’m sure  I’d happily drop for the right guy, others will always be set in stone.

In the three weeks I ‘knew’ him, Henley Boy managed to tick a lot of my imaginary boxes.

And ok, he may have left me a bit jaded about dating, but for now, I’d like to think the reason it didn’t work out wasn’t because I was looking for the wrong things, but just because that one particular guy turned out to be a total arseh*le!

All joking about last night’s date with ‘Normal Fish‘ aside, I’m not gonna lie, I spent the vast majority of my two-hour date mentally comparing it to the one I had with Henley Boy.  I was bored, engaged in polite conversation, and not overly attracted to the guy, and rather than revelling in a new type of dating, it just seemed to make me more depressed about the perfect date that I had expected to go anywhere other than where it eventually did!

In fact, this morning I woke up more depressed about the HB situation than I have done for a couple of weeks!

I know it’s just Date Number 1, and I have 29 more to look forward to …. buuuuuuut ….

The majority of this challenge relies on my friends, and their choices of blind dates for me (because frankly there are only so many Plenty of Fish dates I can go on and still be able to look myself in the eye in the mirror!) .

By the sounds of things, any of my male friends offering up blind dates are just trying to find the most comic or appalling dates possible, and an awful lot of my female friends are actively searching out guys that they know I wouldn’t normally look twice at.

But, just in case any of you nice, caring people, want to give a disillusioned, heart-bruised girl a date or two to look forward to, I thought I might let you know what my Ideal Man is actually like … just in case he happens to sound like a single man you know!

My ideal date is tall (I’m 5’8” and would never go out with someone shorter than me).  6’2” or over is a definite plus.  I like well-built guys (read rugby player as opposed to fatty!), but would much prefer to date a guy with a couple of extra pounds, rather than someone who needed to put on weight.

I’m not massively fussed about age – I’ve dated guys who are younger or older than me, though I’ve found if the age gap is much more than a few years, I’ve struggled to have much in common with them.  I guess ‘common experience’ and ‘common stage of life’ are quite important things.

My ideal date would be confident and outgoing.  He doesn’t need to be the life and soul of the party, but he needs to have stories of his own to tell, and be able to be left on his own at a social occasion and be happy fending for himself.

I’ve travelled A LOT … and so couldn’t see myself ending up with someone who doesn’t enjoy travelling, even if he just has a long list of places he plans to go, rather than an already-bursting passport.

My ideal date needs to enjoy sport – playing and watching.  I don’t like football, and probably couldn’t date someone who was really into it, but cricketers, rowers and rugby players are a different ball game …. boom boom! I go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week, and am attracted to equally active guys.  I eat pretty healthy and look after myself, and find similar behaviour attractive in guys.  Saying that, I’d hate to date someone who takes longer getting ready for a night out than I do.

My ideal date is intelligent, educated, and driven.  Sorry, but I’m a sucker for a posh voice and a decent education.  Realistically, I see myself settling down with a white collar professional.  If I hadn’t been orphaned at a young age, and decided to explore the world in my twenties, I would be working in a Law Firm in the city.  I quite like scientists and sports scientists, because I was always interested in Humanities and Languages at school, and it’s nice to meet someone who knows about different stuff!  I’m not really fussed about how much a guy earns, as I am more than happy supporting myself, but my ideal date would have some drive and ambition, and know what he wants to do in life, at least to some degree.

The standard expectations – being nice, caring, honest etc, I would hope go without saying.  As really, does anyone actually want to date a knobber?!

And finally, and most superficially, I’m a real sucker for a pretty face.  I like classically attractive guys.  I’m not fussed about stuff like hair colour and eyes, but I do like a fittie (and as my friend Geraldine finds highly amusing, I’m not a big fan of bald men!)  Sorry if that sounds shallow, but I told you I was gonna be honest on the blog!

Maybe I’m really picky, but equally I like to think I’m quite an interesting, charismatic and entertaining girl, with a fair bit going for herself.  I like to think I’m a reasonable catch, and  have lived my life setting the bar pretty high for myself, so why shoudn’t I set it equally high for someone I date?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect my ideal man to just appear on a date tomorrow! (Though if you do know him, I’m still looking for a date for Friday …. 😉 ) And I realise the likelihood of me going on a date with even one guy I actually fancy is probably pretty slim, having established just how picky I am when it comes to guys.

But I just thought I’d let you all know what ‘The Ideal Man’ is like for me (in a vague hope that maybe he happens to work in your office, or be mates with your boyfriend!), but more realistically so that you can all laugh over the next three months about how un-like my Ideal Man all my Blind Dates turn out to be, and maybe even see which of the above ideals I adamantly stick to, and which ones I end up dropping, in the name of love …. or rather, drunken lust 😉

Miss Twenty-Nine xxx