WORDS – Love vs Lust (Mister Mischief)

After all the Experimental Dater profiles, it’s time for something a little bit different!

Here is the first Blog Contribution from one of the Experimental Daters. And he’s already fast becoming one of the most controversial, which is great, because the whole point of recruiting 30 Experimental Daters for the second phase of the 30 Dates blog was to recruit new voices to the team, and to begin to see dating from a whole range of perspectives!

Here’s Mister Mischief’s take on Words. He shares two different approaches he’s tried with online dating messaging (and yes girls, he admits to re-using the same message multiple times!) and the results he got back from both angles.

WORDS

Across the globe, we’ve invented aural symbols that allow us to
debate, explore and express the deepest feelings or thoughts
that has and or will cross every capable human mind, past present and future.
Some of these symbols hold greater meaning to each individual than others.
Love for instance.

Love (My search / quest thereof through online dating websites):

What follows is a slighlt modified version of a message I sent to quite a number of girls –
Some were slightly tailored to the individual but in most cases, copied verbatim.

“Hello is the first thing that comes to my mind when meeting someone for the first time, someone who I am attracted to but don’t know.
It seems so boring somehow though.
The second obvious thing to do is to tell her how pretty I think she is,
but then if I’ve thought of it I assume countless other guys have done the same thus wearing out the effect somewhat.
Which leaves negging* but I’ll be damned if I resort to teasing and reverse psychology to express my feelings.
Now that you know I couldn’t think of anything to say perhaps you wouldn’t mind starting the conversation. :)”

Now my thought behind this was I want to say something that piques your interest.

I don’t just want to say ‘Hi.’

I’m not Brad Pitt or Will Smith, I can’t just open with hello and expect knickers thrown at me.

Chances are if I was in a line up of 6 average to good looking guys; the girls that I am interested in would not pick me from that line-up.

So I feel like I need to stand out somehow from the countless emails these attractive girls no doubt receive.

I was fairly surprised to find out that this approach fell on deaf ears, on various dating sites.

My assumption is therefore that girls do not like that method of communicating and would prefer the more direct approach.

Which takes me to the next word. Lust :

Lust
This is the yearning of my loins
inferred by my brain as dirty thoughts
that my brain then translates into grunts and dilated pupils
and an inability to string together a sentence that would result in the satisfaction of said lust

This is a tame version of my attempt to form a sentence to send to a girl on Zoosk that I had lustful feelings for (since I had momentarily given up on love).

“I <edited> am well endowed </edited>, interested?”

Short and to the point – No response from the very attractive girl.

Either fear or repulsion or the lack of a paid account allowing said girl to respond.

Whichever it was I will never know – this upsets me because as a man of science (BSc Computer Science but a science none the less), I knew not how proceed if my experiments produced no observable results.

What is my conclusion?

Answer: Repeat the experiment … multiple times, just to be sure.

A few responses were received. Do women like that approach?
Results say 40:60. Yes and No. Mostly No!

Regarding the ‘No’s the target audience demographic should be taken into consideration
– i.e. not slags so unlikely to be enthusiastic when responding to the “phallic approach”.
As for the ‘Yes’s it was not ‘Yes let’s meet up and roll in the proverbial hay.’
More Yes as in ‘Haha you’re very funny/ brave to use that as an opener!’

So I’ve done Love and Lust.
Slowly I will work or have worked my way through the various magnitudes
of the expressions available to me in relation to the opposite sex.
In reality there are only the aforementioned two
(three if you include genial cordiality reserved for work colleagues and family)

Well, I’m still searching for the one whom I will develop an unwavering desire to whisper that word (Love) to and mean it.

Mister Mischief

* if you’ve read The Game by Neil Strauss or are male and have not been in a cave for the last 10 years you will know what it is. A short explanation: to say something negative about a girl in a teasing manner used in conjunction with or as an offset to compliments.

To hear more from Mister Mischief, check out his blog HERE.

Related articles

• Experimental Dater Four – Mister Mischief (30blinddates.wordpress.com)