If I learnt anything from my 30 Dates by 30 Challenge, it was just how much fun dating can be. And how, if you stop thinking of being Single as simply the lonely state between relationships, and start seeing it as an opportunity to have a lot of fun, and enjoy your independence, then suddenly being Single can feel like something you’ve chosen for yourself.
I was asked on Tinder just this evening why I hadn’t ‘found someone’ during my 30 Dates. His exact words were ‘how come so many dates, and no successful applicants’ – and that’s the stereotypical view of Dating – that you only do it with one view in mind. Finding a partner.
But, as I realised over the summer, dating doesn’t just have to be an interview for the ‘One’. You can make what you want of Dating. It can be a fun way to spend your evenings, going to shows and exhibitions, and restaurants and bars that you wanted to try out, accompanied by someone you’ve perhaps never met before. So there’s novel entertainment, and novel conversation. Maybe the date will go badly and you’ll have a story to laugh about with your friends. Maybe there’ll be a spark, and something more will come of it all… But the spark doesn’t always have to be the aim. The be all and end all.
I’ve mentioned before how I’ve dated guys of all different ages.
Whilst the 30 Dates Challenge spanned men of 24 up to 38, in the ‘real world’, I dated a guy ten years younger than me for a few weeks last winter (much to the amusement of my younger sister!) and when I was 24 I dated a guy who was 37. Neither of those extremes worked for me on a relationship level.
Whilst both guys looked a lot closer to my age than they really were – one of the reasons I was initially attracted to them – the age gaps soon began to show. If you’re 29 and dating a 19 year-old, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be at very different stages in life (no matter how immature you are, and how mature he is, dating a Fresher is not something someone verging on 30 wants to consider!). And for me, dating someone 13 years my senior was also too big an age gap. On several occasions he accused me of being ‘too immature’ (something I’ve never really been called before … apart from when someone flicks through my iPod!) … and the simple truth was that I was just a lot younger than him, with very different priorities.
But if you take away the whole ‘looking for a partner’ aspect of dating, and just focus on the fun for a change, then age becomes pretty irrelevant. If dating is just an exercise in having fun experiences with members of the opposite sex, then they can really be of any age.
Which is where the AGE Experiment comes in!
I’ve likened Dating to games before. Both to board games, and to Top Trumps, and following in a similar vein, I’ve decided my contribution to the AGE Experiment, will be to play my own form of Dating Top Trumps, and try to date twenty different guys of different ages. Just one date. And the span will take me from 21-40. I’ll try my best to work through the dates in age order …. but no guarantees! And some of the dates may coincide with other experiments or challenges, like the Wednesday Dating Club!
My own experiences of men have told me that 25 is the danger age when it comes to guys (having had my heart trampled on by a 25 year-old when I was 23, then again by a 25 year-old when I was 25, and then finally by another 25 year-old when I was 27! ) …. Will my suspicions be correct? Or will I find a 25 year-old able to redeem his peers? 🙂
So let’s see what differences a year or two makes. And, if all you’re looking for is a fun date, whether age makes any difference at all?
It’s time to play the ‘Age Card’ … and get counting at the same time ….
Miss Twenty-Nine xxx