SEX – Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway … Sort Of! (Kink)

Posted on November 15, 2013 in 30 Dates, Dating Experiments, SEX

Our resident Kinkster (or perhaps wannabe Kinkster) is back! Here is Part One of her ‘Sex’ Experiment – Kink vs Sex (However the post could equally fit in with the Fear Experiment!)

Miss Twenty-Nine xxx

Last week I ventured to a kinky event to put Part 1 of the ‘Kink vs Sex Experiment’ into action – i.e. looking for kink in kinky places.

I’ve been to this event before – it’s just in a pub and you wouldn’t know it was kinky if you didn’t ask!

It’s not a singles’ event, and therefore is full of all sort of people. I went armed with my favourite Wingwoman (no longer single, and sickenly smitten these days, but still an excellent partner-in-crime) and a newly-acquired Wingman, who proved himself to be pretty handy as the night progressed!

Let me start this story by telling you just how awful I am at the chat!

Don’t get me wrong, general chat I’m fine with – I can chatter away with the best of them and my job requires that I do so with a certain amount of charm. I’m not suggesting I’m socially awkward or anything. I’m just awful at the chat when I think there could be a potential ‘date’ involved! I feel full of trepidation and fear and will therefore avoid conversation at all costs (which is a little bizarre as ‘fear’ is a kink I’m more than willing to entertain in the bedroom).

So mostly at these events I can be found chatting away to people I know are ‘safe’ – people in whom I have no interest, or people who will not be interested in me – which I realise is kind of not the point!

After spotting that I was falling into this pattern again, and having a lovely, if somewhat pointless, conversation with a married couple about sex and religion (an interesting topic which I might cover one day!) Wingwoman dragged me away.

She kindly set me the challenge of speaking to two new people who were ‘single and looking’ by the end of the night (it was already pretty late by this point!).

So off we set to locate targets and face my fears!

Here is how I got on:

1. The Ones Who Wandered In!

Now I’d already spotted this pair at the main bar while Wingwoman was in the bathroom. They’d tried to engage me in chat about whether I was ‘lining them up’ but as I hadn’t even had a sip of my wine yet and was stressing about finding my friend again in the busy pub, I’d casually brushed them off. So I was surprised to see them walking towards the bar in our private section of the pub, both looking rather bemused and slightly out of place! My friend and I ventured in and it turned out they’d just wandered into our section to see what was going on. They’d assumed it was a ‘private party’ – we kindly explained what the event was for and after a few crude jokes (again kinky does not mean easy boys!) we had a bit of chat. They were old friends, they worked in insurance, one was visiting London, one was cute but his potential was minimal, and in a classic playground move my Wingwoman shoved me towards her next target….

2. The Friendly Frenchman.

Now this man was slightly more my type. Incredibly tall and wearing a Barbour and a jumper – what more could a girl want?! We had a little chat about what he did, what brought him here and whether he was single. Oh no! – He was single and available, and attractive and charming … cue alarm bells! I lost all chat! I started looking around and spotted Wingwoman. I grabbed her and moved her into our circle and she continued the chat with the charming French man whilst I turned around blindly and spotted the married couple to talk nonsense and non-fearful chat with.

And so that was that – one who I wasn’t interested in and one who I ran away from!

Wingwoman dragged me back to the bar to chastise me for my flight and as we ordered drinks both men tried to pay for them – the Frenchman from the end of the bar and the Insurance man from the middle! Now this has never happened to me before! In fact, it was actually rather embarrassing!

The barmaid headed towards us with our drinks:

‘They were purchased by the gentleman at the end (French) but you are very popular this evening!’

Were we really? How had that happened? I’ve got no chat? It was probably all my wingwoman!

Anyway it was pretty late by this point and Wingwoman and I spent the rest of the night executing an excellent manoeuvre to allow Wingman his chance with the ‘girl of his dreams’ who he’d had his eye on all night. Turned out she wasn’t the girl of his dreams but actually rather irritating to speak to! Just shows, lust from afar doesn’t always pan out the way you expect!

What did I learn from Part One of my Kink vs. Sex Experiment?

1. The chat isn’t that horrendous, I did quite well up until a certain point and I just need to keep trying and fight through the fear!

2. If there is a chance to avoid the chat I will! I think I need to go to more events where the people are single, and then my chances to flee will be reduced!

3. I need to try Stage Two – finding someone sexy in a non kinky place pretty soon, as I seem to know people pretty well at this kinky event now and other than the Frenchman (who was new) I haven’t met anyone I’d want to date so far!

Kink