SINGLE – Pulling The Fade (Fader)

Our resident Educator is back with her second post as an Experimental Dater. I won’t say too much, else I’ll spoil her Pop Quiz! 

But welcome back Fader!

Miss Twenty-Nine xxx

It’s no secret that those of us in education tend to be partial to the odd Pop Quiz.

Here’s a question for you:What did I do last week?

  1. Met an Adam Brody-lookalike writer/musician and fell madly in love
  2. Got invited backstage at an Arctic Monkeys concert and had to bashfully turn down Alex Turner’s heartfelt proposals of marriage
  3. Pulled a fade on a perfectly nice, solvent, engaging osteopath I’ve been seeing for a few weeks.

If you guessed A or B, I’d suggest re-reading my last blog entry. Poor: C-minus for effort.

See if you do any better with this one: what else did I do last week?

  1. Swam in a crocodile-infested river with chunks of raw meat strapped to my torso
  2. Took six of our wonderful, challenging kids on a school trip to Paris for a long weekend.

Any ideas? 

Well, I can tell you that one of those options is a stress-free, enjoyable experience.

The other option is a school trip to Paris.


The fact that it has taken me a week to recover should tell you all you need to know about the trip. Without compromising my professionalism by revealing any specifics, there is but one thing I can say in summary of the whole thing:

Shit Went Down.

Much of the trip was spent with one eye on the sights and all my remaining eyes (teachers, like spiders, have many) scanning the crowds so as not to lose any children. Nevertheless, despite my very limited experience of the City of Love, it’s easy to see why Paris has garnered such a nickname. Amongst the hordes of tourists being frogmarched in lines past such instantly recognizable landmarks as Notre Dame, the Louvre and of course la Tour Eiffel, there were very many couples entangled in the throes of love.

I was pretty surprised to find myself feeling zero resentment. Perhaps it was because I’d pulled the fade just days earlier: I guess seeing others so completely immersed in each other justified how entirely unwilling I am to settle for relationship mediocrity. If ever I needed confirmation that the fade was the right choice, I found it on the streets of Paris.

Mr Osteopath had it all on paper: his own practice, a varied and interesting social life, intelligence and kindness. Unfortunately the one thing he didn’t have – or we didn’t have – was that elusive spark to take things further.

He just didn’t electrify me.

And it wasn’t through lack of trying, either. A friend of mine bemoaned what she calls my “unrealistic expectations” and made the point that I can’t complain about his lack of cheeky banter if I didn’t create situations that would allow him to be like that.

I suppose it’s a bit like one of the kids I teach: he can’t really read, so asking him to get stuck in to War and Peace sort of sets him up to fail.

With this in mind, I adopted an approach not entirely unlike the way I plan lessons. The scene was set: a night at mine, a few board games and a lot of cheese and wine. Board games, I figure, would allow me to unleash the competitive demon inside me that I’d hitherto kept firmly in its cage. If that didn’t get some fire going between us, nothing would.

Long story short? Nothing did.

I suppose it’s just one of those things. Ofsted can come and give me an Outstanding for a lesson, but that doesn’t mean I’m Outstanding every day. Nobody can do that, unless they’re some sort of teaching super-robot.

Same goes for relationships. If every bloke I meet sets my world alight, it wouldn’t be a good thing: it would be exhausting. And it wouldn’t be remotely special to discover a true connection, if it happened with every chap I dated.

So – back I go to the drawing board. A tentative peek at my OKCupid messages revealed this gem: “You are pretty but you have harsh, rough hands” from a chap whose username says it all: “Fucker2go”. Usually I let these things wash over me, but I caved and replied, “And you are thoroughly unpleasant. Bye.” He’s since deleted his account, the charmer.

I’ve found this site, which I was quite interested to try as part of the EDUCATION 30 Dates Experiment. As with most of the niche sites, however, it’s London-heavy with one lonely profile to be found in Wiltshire.

As they say in Paris, merde.

Nevertheless, I might give it a crack anyway in the name of experimental dating.

Along the same lines, I’m after a teachers’ singles night to attend if anybody knows of one? Don’t mind a bit of travel; the eventful Paris trip hasn’t put me entirely off adventure!

And to any aforementioned Adam Brody-alikes who happen to be reading this blog, I would like to say bonjour and follow it up with a well-known line from Lady Marmalade.

Just…let’s pick Venice for our first romantic getaway, yeah?

Until next time,



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