Experimental Dater Twenty-Six – Northstar

I doubt many of you reading will need an explanation why today is a fitting day to announce the blog’s first gay male blogger!  However for those of you living under a rock / in a country other than England / or reading this in the archives, today British Olympic Diver Tom Daley (rather unsurprisingly) came out, in a heartfelt, mature and honest YouTube video.

I’ve been searching for a gay Experimental Dater for some time.  The whole point of introducing the EDs was to give as much variety to the posts on 30 Dates as possible, and to allow people of all ages, sexes and orientations to enjoy the blog and be able to empathise with some of the topics being written about.

There are two lesbian girls writing for the blog – the happily coupled-up New Realist, and single academic The Rock Chick, however I am very excited to introduce Northstar to the blog!  

He is an old friend of mine, who has lived in Canada for some time.  And when he contacted me last week about writing for the blog, he was not only applying to become an Experimental Dater, but also coming out to me.  

In case you’re wondering, ‘Northstar’ is the name of one of the first gay comic book superheroes, who also happens to be from Canada!  

Miss Twenty-Nine xxx

Blog Name – Northstar

Age – 29

Location – Toronto, Canada

Relationship Status – Recently started dating someone

Sexuality – Gay

Religion – Atheist

Height – 5′ 7″

Body Type – Vaguely athletic

Job – Marketing

Education – Masters Degree

Hobbies – Lots of sports-related things.  I’m an avid squash player and I have an abiding love for hockey (both playing and watching).  Aside from that I’m also a massive nerd, and I enjoy most anything related to sci fi and boardgames.  Also, sampling the wide variety of craft beers that Ontario has to offer.

Ideal Partner – Someone confident in himself, who knows where he is in life and is comfortable with the person he is.  Also someone who’s able to make me laugh, and who doesn’t take the world too seriously; a winning smile is always a bonus.

Longest Relationship – 7 months

Why do you think you’re single? – I valued my last relationship a lot and still have a great deal of affection for my ex, but there were a few too many emotional cracks in the relationship to make it sustainable in the long term.  He ended it, but it was the correct decision to make.

Good Relationship Traits – I’m a good communicator, I’ve read enough Dan Savage over the years to know the importance of good communication in a relationship and I’m always happy to talk through difficult emotional subjects.  (For those who aren’t aware of him, Dan Savage is pretty much the world’s greatest advice columnist for issues concerning relationships, love and sex).

Bad Relationship Traits – I tend to become emotionally involved a little too quickly, which does expose me to the risk of being hurt a little too readily.

How would you describe the way you date? – For the first few dates I’m a big fan of conversation-focused venues rather than anything activity-based.  Whether at a bar, coffee shop, or on a walk, I like to have long conversations to get to know more about the person.

What do you find most attractive in a date? – Confidence is always attractive, a good sense of humour and having some interesting stories to tell always win points too.

What do you find least attractive in a date? – I’m not a big fan of shy and retiring types, introversion isn’t a quality that I particularly enjoy.

Best Ever Date – Technically a first date, although it wasn’t really planned that way, we spent the day walking around Toronto’s different neighbourhoods and parks chatting for hour after hour, with the entire day racing by as neither of us wanted the conversation to come to a close.  Luckily the weather gods were smiling on us, and gave us a glorious warm and sunny day to keep the walking and the conversation going.  The next week it was below zero and snowing again even though it was April ….  Canada!

Worst Ever Date – I’d been seeing a guy for a few weeks.  He’d had to cancel our previous date and I was looking forward to seeing him again as it had been a couple of weeks since our last date.  I arrived at his place to find that the evening wouldn’t just be the two of us, but instead his stoner roommate would be joining us as well.  The two of them were both practically catatonic by the time I got there, and they then wanted to spend the evening watching ‘crazy shit’ on Youtube.  Not quite the romantic evening I’d envisioned!

Celebrity Crushes – Ryan Gosling, Joffrey Lupul, Hayden Christensen (despite Star Wars).