It’s the 4th of January, and I’m reliably informed that tomorrow the Christmas decorations are meant to come down. Say bye bye to Norman 😦 (Or at least pretend to say goodbye to him! I’ve grown rather attached to both him and his OTT decorations! Perhaps I can trim him down a bit and pretend he’s a potted plant?)
Today is also rather coincidentally my parents’ wedding anniversary. They would have been married 39 years. (Which may excite the romantics amongst you when you get further down this post!)
And in four days time the blog will enjoy its 6 month anniversary. (Yes, that means I’ve had the same length relationship with this blog, as with my longest standing boyfriend! And trust me … the blog has been far more rewarding!!!)
But most importantly for the blog, today marks a break from a couple of traditions.
First off … unlike the 30 Dates before my 30th Birthday, I’m about to fail a challenge.
Though I guess ‘failure’ in the situation is an interesting concept! 🙂
Because the other inadvertent tradition I’m about to break, is that normally when things are going really well with a boy, I stop telling you guys about it!
Not forever – as you know from my post about the second date with The Enigma and the updates about Guy Fawkes, when I went on three dates with him in November. I just keep things going on in the background, and don’t automatically confess to it until I know the outcome … a bit like keeping Norman the Spruce covertly around after January 5th!
I write about my dating life, and thousands of people, all over the world read about it. I literally know how many people in which country have read which post! In itself a pretty surreal concept to get your head around. And then you remember I’m writing about arguably the most vulnerable aspect of my life …
And so it’s important that I keep at least some cards to my chest – partly out of a fear I’m tempting fate by getting too overtly excited about things. And also so as not to jeopardise whatever it is that’s going on with that particular guy. Because fun as it is to chat about first and second dates on the internet, it’s quite another thing to divulge aspects of an actual relationship to the world.
As you’ll have seen from both The Flash’s post, and The Student’s last post, I enlisted the help of the EDs in my 12 Date of Christmas challenge, because even during my 30 Dates, I never racked up more than ten dates in a calendar month – and it was exhausting! However, rather stupidly on my part, I ended up matching up several pairs of the Experimental Daters up on these dates, and creating an entire new phenomenon – The Experimental Date – instead of trying to count their escapades as part of the Christmas Challenge. And so we’re only at 9 Dates of Christmas. (Though, can I just say – I bloody love the Experimental Dates, and their outcomes so far!!!)
Following my eighth date of Christmas on Wednesday, I had planned to cram three more dates in over this weekend. And I’m not normally someone who falls short on a goal!
But I guess sometimes I need to reassess my goals!
During the 30 Dates by 30 Challenge, the entire idea was to make dating fun, and have 30 First Dates.
I was asked countless times what I would do if I found ‘The One’, or someone resembling him. And my reply was always the same – that if I met a guy I wanted to go on more dates with, I would arrange a second date after my 30th Birthday.
Challenge first, love life second.
However, when I decided to continue on with this blog after my thirtieth birthday, a major reason for inviting Experimental Daters in to join the blog’s writing team was so that my Single status was no longer something forced upon me.
Life first, blog second.
Ironically, a few weeks later I ended up signing a contract to ensure that I remained single til mid-January – something I’ve touched upon before, but am still not at liberty to disclose details of!
And when I signed that contract, I actually made the joke about it on Facebook and Twitter …
Most of you will have noticed I had a rather good date on Wednesday.
On Wednesday, I had the best date I’ve been on since I met Henley Boy.
Not necessarily the content of what we got up to … because let’s face it, I’ve done some amazing things on first dates in the last six months.
But with regards to how well I got on with the guy.
Ironically, given the fact Mr Second Chance began life on this blog as ‘Mr Sackoff’, and that my first impression of him was that he was a chavvy knob … Mr SC managed to not only eclipse HB in a few short hours, but on a personal level, genuinely blow him out of the water.
I’ve taken a lot of stick on this blog for having certain ideals about any guy I end up dating. I’ve always had certain things I look for in a guy, some of them more important than others.
And as I described briefly in the Eighth Date of Christmas, one of the things 30 Dates has taught me as a whole, is which ideals are actually not significant any more.
I went on a date with a religious guy, and really liked him, in spite of our different views on faith.
I’ve been on several dates with army officers, and genuinely changed my outset to the idea of dating someone who might be stationed in a war zone in future.
And, where Mr SC was concerned, I went on a date with a guy who already has children, and it didn’t affect his ‘potential’ as a possible boyfriend in the slightest.
When I go on a date, I know pretty quickly if I fancy someone. Normally within the first hour I’ll have established at least one reason why I don’t think things could work. I don’t find him attractive. He’s too young. He’s just come out of a serious relationship. He’s clearly only after sex.
My internal voice is pretty well-seasoned at this game now.
So it was interesting when, on Wednesday, the internal voice of dating reason was very, very quiet.
In fact my only memorable observations were that Mr SC was hotter (!), posher and shorter than I had expected. And when I finally took my wellies off and realised how significant the sole on them is, that last observation proved inaccurate.
This isn’t me telling you I’m hanging up my Dating days just yet … Christ, I’ve literally known the guy four days!
However, for the first time during this blog, I am genuinely, butterflies in my tummy excited, about a guy. And, because he’s incredibly similar to me in a lot of ways, I already know he’s equally excited about me.
So much so, that we’ve both cancelled our plans tonight for an impromptu second date.
He’s studying at Sandhurst at the moment, and tonight is likely to be his last night of ‘freedom’ for the forseeable future.
Lawyers out there, don’t worry, I’m not breaching my contract. I’m still single. And you’ll all be the first to know when that particular status changes! (Though while we’re on the subject of status changes – I know at least two Experimental Daters have exciting news to tell you this month on that front!)
I’m just excitedly optimistic that it may well change in the near future!
And so, yes, I’ve failed to complete 12 Dates of Christmas. But the reason I’ve failed, is because in the process of those 12 Dates, I met a guy who I genuinely really like. Someone who actually lives up to my lengthy list of ideals, which everyone told me were unrealistic! And someone I like so much, that the idea of scheduling a couple of meaningless dates this weekend, purely for the sake of racking up three more Christmas dates before the official end to the Christmas season, seems pointless.
Like I said, Mr SC is back off to Sandhurst tomorrow, and so if tonight goes well, I may go a bit quiet on the date front, as realistically I don’t know when my next date with him will be. Or how exciting and novel the setting will be, if he only gets a few hours away from the academy. And, bearing in mind how adverse he was to the whole idea of being blogged about – how he got the nickname Mr Sackoff in the first place – I don’t think it would be fair to document every aspect of our dates from now on (unless of course he treats me appallingly, or does something hilariously funny! 😉 )
However, whatever the outcome of tonight, rest assured, you’ll be the first to know, if (at the end of my legal contract!), there are any ‘Facebook-worthy’ announcements to be made.
And that thanks to the Experimental Daters, no matter what my personal relationship status is, there will always be juicy snippets of first and worst dates on the 30 Dates blog, to keep you all regularly entertained.
I will end this post by saying how grateful I am for this blog.
If it weren’t for 30 Dates, my attitude to dating and guys would still be very different.
If it weren’t for 30 Dates, I know I wouldn’t be going on a second date with Mr SC tonight – because the blog was the only reason I ended up on Tinder in the first place. It also dramatically changed my mind about single dads and army boys. And, Mr Second Chance himself openly admits that the only reason he asked me on a date after sacking me off, was because of the girl he read about on this very blog.
Finally, if it weren’t for 30 Dates, I wouldn’t have anywhere near as much fun over the past six months, met and engaged with new dates and friends all around the world, or been given half the amazing experiences this blog has come to offer.
Thank you to everyone who has contributed in some way to the blog so far – whether you’re one of 100,000+ views, or an Experimental Dater, bearing your dating soul for all the world to read.
Fingers crossed my boy radar is working a bit better, six months on, than it did when I went on my second date with The Henley Boy!
BRING IT ON 2014!
A rather excited … Miss Twenty-Nine xxx