MARRIAGE – The Proposal! (The New Realist)

So what better way to start the year, with happy news?!

I’ll let The New Realist take it from here …!

Miss Twenty-Nine xxx

Saturday 28th December.

A date that I will never forget.

The scariest, most nerve-wracking day I have ever experienced. The day that will potentially change my life forever.

I’ve had many disaster dates and relationships. My ‘chat’ is non-existent. I was once dancing with a girl (rather up close and personal) and whilst her head was on my shoulder she asked what I was wearing. My response, in my drunken state (my defence), was ‘black French knickers’ to which she stopped dancing immediately and stared at me.

I thought ‘I’m in here’ 😉

I meant what perfume are you wearing??!!’

Oh dear God kill me now! I have never been more embarrassed in my life. I wanted the floor to swallow me whole!

Certainly an ice breaker, and in the end I did end up having a relationship with her. Maybe it was pity, or maybe I was a sure thing.

However embarrassing!

And yet that moment was nothing compared to what I was feeling on December 28th 2013.

I have always been one of those people who remember dates.

For example I first met Elly on the 31st January, we became official on the 10th February and we bought our first pet (Horatio) on April 15th.

Meaningful dates. And once I thought the day I proposed needed to be a ‘meaningful date’.

And yet, for some strange reason, these dates no longer mean so much, and whilst I still know when our one year anniversary will be, it’s not the important part.

If this Christmas taught me anything, it’s that there are more important things in life, and that we have so much more to look forward to.

In the words of Phoebe Buffet, Elly is my lobster.

I know Elly isn’t going anywhere and it wont matter if she forgets those little dates that I remember (because she will forget, she has a memory like a fish)

We have always spoken about our past relationships, which might seem odd to some people, but for once it didn’t matter. We have always told each other everything, and I mean everything, but there was nothing that was going to come between us.

Which for me was a strange concept.

It didn’t take long before comments like ‘i’ll marry you one day’ came out and although we have spoken about marriage, buying houses and all those grown up things you have to do, we agreed there was no rush.

I am quite the old fashioned romantic at heart and had always planned on the ‘sparkling diamond ring, one knee and roses’ proposal but Elly has always spoken of a much simplier approach….good job she wasn’t the one proposing!

Having already spoken about marriage it was quite easy to get the all important ring size. We’d made a few trips to look at rings ‘just to get an idea’. I then spent the following three months looking at every ring under the sun to find the perfect one, while she seemed to change her mind about which design she liked pretty much every other week. Not annoying at all.

Then I found it. Its true what they say, you do just know. The same way I knew Elly was THE GIRL, I knew this was THE RING.

The question then was when, and how?

I knew once I had the ring I wanted I could take my own sweet time in preparing the ultimate proposal, but wow how I was wrong.

The fear in my heart that the ring wouldn’t turn up (I bought it online) was unbelievable. When it finally arrived I was hoping for that feeling of relief, but no, now it was ‘what if she finds it?’, ‘Where can I keep it?’.

I was really starting to feel quite sick and quite stressed with the whole thing. Whose bloody idea was this!!

December was not the happiest of months for me and although I had my birthday and Christmas to look forward to there was so much more going on in my life. We lost a truly special lady the day before my birthday, a very good friend’s mum. Although we knew she was ill, it came too soon, and at 50 years old she had so much more to give.

I am also in the middle of coming to terms with gradually losing my granddad and the fact this would to be our last Christmas with him.

Not knowing whether I will see him again and then also attending a funeral only a few days after Christmas made me realise life is too short!

It pains me to think it takes something so drastic to make us realise these things. Why must we feel pain to chase happiness?

I knew now that the day didn’t make any difference and that I wanted to do it as soon as possible. I could finally put the nerves, fear and stress to bed.

I had numerous plans in my head of how I could pop the question but in all honesty my biggest aim was to surprise her. I didn’t want her to have any idea at all.

Any plans to go somewhere special or take her away might have given her ideas, so I had to stick to something simple.

Our first date was on Skype, an advert for the 21st Century I know but we couldn’t meet in person, so this was the next best thing. Not to mention we met online, so always best to make sure you are talking to the same person you profiled.

Almost nine hours later we realised it was 7am and that we had not slept.

Seemed like the perfect time to meet in person! Yes, I know we hadn’t slept all night, but as soppy as it sounds, we didn’t want to say goodbye.

Then, as they say, the rest is history.

I couldn’t really recreate the Skype session without not being away from her, which wasn’t in the plan.

Instead, I filling the room with candles and rose petals, and I left her a note which said ‘Play Me’ next to her ipad.

While she sat on the bed watching me on video, I was in the living room. Literally shaking like a leaf, and on one knee, I waited patiently for her to come in.

The video itself had my apologising for not being able to spend Christmas together (I was back home and she had to work) and that I wanted to make it extra special because of this. I kept my fingers crossed that it would keep her off the scent of what I was actually doing.

I could hear her in the other room as my heart pounded through my chest.

The room filled with the smell of Christmas candles and Ellie Goulding’s song ‘How Long Will I Love You’ was playing in the background as I saw the door handle move.

It was like time had stopped.

I could suddenly feel the heat from the candles surrounding me, and my hands started to sweat.

This was it. Everything was about to change.

The door swung open and there she stood…..laughing!! Yes, she laughed at me!

I was speechless, but it had worked. She had no idea and all she could do was laugh to hold back the tears.

I managed to just about get the words out……Will You Marry Me?

The shock on her face mixed with the tears in her eyes were perfect. I slowly got up from the floor (I have dodgy knees) and she flung her arms around me.

It actually took a minute or so before I got around to putting the ring on her finger but it couldn’t have been more perfect, and it fit!

After both catching our breath and letting go of each other, I offered her a glass of champagne.

I then kicked over the candles, spilt wax all over the floor, my socks, and my jeans and burnt my foot in the process!

At least I waited until she said yes!

Happy New Year Guys. Wishing you all lots of happiness for 2014,

The New Realist

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