MARRIAGE – It’s Complicated (The Rock Chick)
The Rock Chick had a #WednesdayDatingClub date this week, and it was a corker!
Miss Twenty-Nine xxx
There are two possible versions of my date on Wednesday, though I guarantee most, bar the most open-minded, will have a united reaction…
I went on a date with an extremely attractive (tick), outgoing (tick), interesting (tick), educated (tick), honest (tick), English-speaking (tick) woman, who we’ll call the Complicated Consultant. We ate salmon, and drank three small glasses of white wine. We had a thoroughly enjoyable evening.
I went on a date with the Complicated Consultant. All of the above applies. But it just so happens she is also married to a man who she describes as ‘like family’, her ‘best friend’, and with whom she still lives and has no intention of separating from.
Further, she is broken-hearted, after a drawn-out break-up with another woman some months back. She married her husband whilst in a relationship with this woman, with his blessing.
Now. I’m not here to judge.
In fact I think this is one of my best character traits.
But even for me, this series of revelations was quite astonishing… Most women would run a mile…
I admire the honesty with which the Consultant explained the situation. There is, indeed, a Complicated history underlying the bare facts, which I don’t know all of, and which I don’t want to dwell on. Her marriage is unconventional. And her husband clearly IS extremely open-minded, and supportive. She is certain that a female life-partner is what she is seeking, and he is (apparently) fine with this…
But, wow. The Complicated Consultant is searching for someone spectacular, and rare, someone happy to accept the situation exactly as it is.
Can I be this person? #Gosh.
I like her, and if she were truly single, I would have no hesitation getting to know her better. I trust her, when she says this is what she wants.
But, to be honest, no. It’s a lot to ask…
For me, in the long run, exclusivity is important. I would not be as willing to share as her husband is.
I am not looking to be one of three, but one of two.
However, I did gather from our conversation that her situation is not so uncommon. So, in case it rings true for anyone reading this, she pointed me in the direction of the Experience Project, based in the US
Funily enough… I was in a similar situation wit The Mum of My Youngest… Only I was in the position of the husband. She wanted a relationship with another woman as well as me… It was complicated but after putting some rules in place we agreed to try… Can’t say it didn’t hurt the idea of sharing her with someone else (apart from the point she made that she’d make sure the 3rd part in it was Bisexual and she’d bring her home for 3 ways every now and again)… It ended when we got pregnant though… her choice. She wanted it to be something just for the two of us… It was a long learning curve for me though…