SEX – Exploring Intimacy (The Student)

You can tell she’s an English student!  The Student chips in with her take on #SexWeek with a beautifully articulate look at the intimacy of Sex.

Miss Twenty-Nine xxx

Don’t get me wrong I was frankly over the moon that this week’s hot topic on 30 Dates is Sex and not sodding February 14th, but my initial excitement soon faded into complete writer’s block!

What to say? What not to say? How much is too much? How little is too little?

Having just read the post by Lil Miss D, I am more enthused.  I share exactly the same sentiments as Lil Miss D with regards to sex and how we view it.

This little taboo surrounding sex and sexual relations is thoroughly bizarre to me.  I think it’s absurd. I love a good session discussing sex with my friends; I even have male friends who I’d happily talk about these matters with.

But then another part of me feels like I should hold back.  As if there is something within the primal nature of sex that makes it unspeakable and crass to talk about. Even though we all share the same chemicals that instigate and propel our desire for one another’s bodies, it’s all just boring old biology designed to ensure the survival of our species.

So why can’t we talk about it?

For me I hold back because of the intimacy. There are parts of the sexual experience that I can’t articulate, because for those passionate moments of penetration you are showing a part of yourself to your partner.

They’re experiencing you and your body in a way that no one else can (unless, of course, you have sex with them too…) and they’re seeing you in a moment of ecstasy that you can’t control or predict.

You’re never more vulnerable and naked (figuratively, but presumably there’s also a fair amount of literal nudity going on, otherwise good luck!) than when you’re having sex.

But you’re also you’re most beautiful, most free and most wonderfully you when you’re having sex.

That’s why I like sex.

But we don’t really talk about this part of the experience.

That’s the part that exposes too much.

We feel as if we’re releasing a bit of that same vulnerability that we experience in the act of sex, and that’s precious.

That’s for the bedroom, that’s for you.  Not your partner or anyone else.

Feeling ecstatically vulnerable and connected with another person’s body is intensely personal.

You share the experience and act with another person, which of course is part of the joy, but when it’s all over, only you know how you felt and what you experienced.

And that should always be just for you.

We can talk for hours about the superficialities and aesthetics of a sexual experience, but we can never really express or articulate what we feel when it’s happening.

We talk generally about how it was fun, or there was this cool thing he did, but there’s always something left lingering.

We don’t want to talk about the personal and private experience we had with our partner and with ourselves, and I think that’s fine by me.

Because it only really exists in those moments and we have no words to articulate it, at least not in English.

We don’t want the words. We want them to remain private and sacred to the moment.

And that’s why I like sex.


The Student xxx

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