How To Get Over Someone – Step Three: Find a Distraction

Firstly, thank you everyone for your lovely messages.  I guess one of the most touching parts about the worldwide community of singles which has developed thanks to 30 Dates, is the sense of union it has formed, and the recognition that so many of us are in the exact same situation – no matter how old we are, or where we’re based in the world.

Dating and relationships are things which affect us all.  And whether you’ve been there, are still there, or might end up there in the future, we all know the ups and downs all too well.

So thank you, those of you who have emailed, tweeted and commented over the part couple of days.  I’m not going to be melodramatic.  I met the guy on New Year’s Day.  I’ll get over it.  He just happened to be a particularly special guy, and the situation happened to be a particularly frustrating one, which I have a sad feeling would have ended very differently if we’d met at a different time in our lives.  😦

But enough of that!

It’s time to start looking at break-ups with a slightly positive spin.

No, if I’m honest, I’m not there yet, and I still have that yukky pit-of-my-stomach feeling when I let my mind wander away from a very strictly disciplined path of thought … but I’ll get there.  And until I get there, the way forward is distraction!

Tinder and POF would seem automatic sources.  Thousands of men at my finger tips.  But considering I met Mr SC over both apps, and he was hands down the most exciting man I met on either site, in my entire time online dating …. I think I might give them a miss for a while.

Which leaves me looking for other distractions.

Nothing in my life is particularly new at the moment.  I’ve done my job for almost three years.  I’ve lived in my flat for a year and a half.  I’m pretty settled.

As far as wish-lists go, the only things on mine are rather unrealistic at the mo, given my circumstances.  I really want a puppy, something which my lifestyle, job and living arrangements make impossible.

Adventure-wise, the next big travel plans on my list are all expansive ones, and ones which will require some pretty adult saving plans.  Australia, India, Southern Africa.  Not exactly the kind of travels you book last minute, and jump on a plane the next day for!

So distracting myself has proven a little complicated.

I need something to absorb me.  And something to excite me.

So far, I’ve come up with two ideas.

The first was going to be one of my challenges this year anyway …. I’m turning the 30 Dates Challenge into a book.  Writing isn’t a new way for me to get over stuff.  Long before 30 Dates, I was always a journal writer.  And when I grew out of journaling, I turned my hand to fiction writing to get over a particularly painful ex.

I’ve been saying since the middle of the Challenge what a good chick flick the whole experience would make … so now’s the time to see if I can do it all justice 🙂 Watch this space!

The second challenge I’m setting myself (spot the one who only responds to setting herself defined goals!) is another dating experiment.  One related to Geography!

If you cast your minds back to July last year, the reason I went on 30 Blind Dates was because dating was the last thing I wanted to do post-Henley Boy.  I wasn’t looking for a guy, I needed to remind myself that dating was fun.  The 30 Dates Challenge turned out to be the perfect pick-me-up because it reminded me just who I am, and exactly what I have to offer the world.

It’s impossible to go on thirty first dates, each time painting a blank canvas with information about yourself for someone, and not be reminded why you love your own life.  Even if you are living it solo!

And so I’m going to recreate that pick-me-up … with an idea I’ve been toying with since Signor28 invited me over to Madrid to celebrate the midpoint of my 30 Dates Challenge.

I love to travel.  It’s in my blood!  And I really enjoy first dates.  Even if right at this moment, going on one is probably the last thing I want to do!

I know I’m not going to be single forever.  And to be honest, early on when I met Mr SC, and realised just how well we got on, I remember thinking ‘ah, it’s a shame I never got round to that 30 Dates Around the World idea before I met him!’.

Well … Mr SC was not to be … so it looks like I do have the opportunity to blog about 30 Dates Around the World.  And who knows, it might even end up being the sequel to that chick flick I’m gonna write! 😉

Now, unfortunately I’m not quite in a position where I can drop everything and roam the world for six months solid, flying from date location to date location! (Unless of course there’s some generous sponsor out there!).  However, I thought I could do it in small doses.  A week away here, a weekend trip there ….

I won’t set myself any deadlines just yet, and I’m not ruling out Australia, India and Southern Africa as potential date locations just yet …

But I figure it will give me something to distract myself with, some fun weekends away, and it’s something I could only do if I were single 🙂

Miss Twenty-Nine xxx

Related Posts – 

The Crappy Side of Being Single

Step One – DELETE

Step Two – Put Things in Context

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  1. A Dignified Way to Break Up | The 30 Dates Blog

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