If you write a dating blog, you have to have a pretty forward approach to dates. I’d never have secured 30 Dates in three months by being a shrinking violet, and nowadays, in order to be able to visit fun venues and review dates in different locations, I have to be pretty proactive about finding men to go on the dates with me.
It’s only every now and again that I have to remind myself that not every girl on an online site dates the way I do – forward and aggressively! I often cut to the chase and avoid lengthy text banter, trying to secure a meet up as soon as possible, and if men aren’t aware of the challenge and the blog, it can be quite strange, if not off-putting!
Last night I had a conversation with a guy I was pretty sure I’d scared off – simply by coming across too keen. As usual, I was just trying to pin down a blog date, however to a naive onlooker, I probably came across like I liked the guy WAY too much!
Interestingly though, I’ve found most success with my forward approach to dating on Facebook. Because all my friends know about this blog, and the challenge, I have no shame in asking them to set me up with single friends. In fact, if I spy a hot guy in their photos, I’ll often ask if he’s single, and if he is, ask them to fix me up with him. It’s something I would never have done before this blog, but I guess the site gives me an ‘excuse’ … I’m not coming across desperate, because there’s a purpose. I need guys to visit restaurants, or museums with, and my friends all know that.
It’s funny, because the idea of meeting matches through your friends is by no means new. And it makes sense that if you have a friend in common, you might get along well. However Facebook has the capability to add a whole new level to online matchmaking. Because it’s not simply a network of close friends. Most people are friends on Facebook with the majority of their acquaintances and colleagues, and so the web of connection it can spread is pretty far-reaching.
To be honest, I’m surprised that in 2014, few dating websites are making full use of this feature. Especially when most people select an option on the site to tell the world whether they are single or ‘in a relationship.’ Obviously apps like Tinder use some information from your Facebook, and can show you mutual friends, however I’m sure there’s far more sophisticated matching which could be done via the site, and all the information it has access to ….
Which brings me on to an email I received this week from the charity Macmillan. The charity has teamed up with new dating site ‘My Mate Your Date’, to turn dating into a fundraising event.
The site encourages people to get their friends to suggest dates for them over Facebook. Instead of paying the normal subscription fees you might for a dating site, the person doing the dating pledges to donate a certain amount of money – e.g. a pound – for every date referred to them by a friend, over a 30 Day period.
It’s nice to see a positive charity spin on Facebook – I’m sure a number of you reading will have taken part in the naked selfies for Breast Cancer and hopefully donated as well as taking pictures.
This Macmillan appeal is particularly close to my heart as the Macmillan nurses were really helpful when my sister and I lost our mother.
I won’t be trialling My Mate Your Date, simply because I’ve spammed my poor Facebook friends for dates on a weekly basis over the past nine months! , however I would love to hear from any readers or Experimental Daters who decide to take part in the challenge. It would be great to hear more about how it works, and whether anyone has any success being ‘forward’ on Facebook!
Miss Twenty-Nine xxx