The Mystery of Mr MS

As I mentioned last week in my Table8 post, I’m not the kind of girl who gets asked out by random strangers. One of the reasons the whole Streetmate situation took me so much by surprise, is that I am very rarely attracted to guys in public. For me to spot a guy I find hot, him to be single, and then him to admit to wanting to ask me out, is a pretty big deal. The Bermuda triangle of picky single life!

Since starting 30 Dates, I’ve probably been to at least twenty singles events. And of those twenty events, I could count on one hand the number of guys who I found attractive before speaking to them, let alone after having a conversation.

So it was something of a surprise, when after last Friday night’s success with Streetmate, that I found my chatting to another eligible guy at another singles event, not even a week later! On Thursday night at the Simplicity3 event, I met Mr MS, a tall, friendly-seeming, financial journalist.   He was one of the two men who joined Miss 32, The Coincidental and me in our ‘dating cable car’. And a man who The Coincidental Dater went so far as to describe as the ‘most eligible man I’ve come across in a social setting in years’. I’m not sure I would have gone that far, but he was at least reasonably attractive, and very easy to chat to.

As we headed to the bar after the cable car trip, a girl who he’d chatted to earlier in the night came over and brazenly asked if she could have his number before she left. ‘No’, came his honest, and rather abrupt reply. Followed by a slightly awkward discussion with me and The Coincidental, where he worried that he’d been rude.

‘Should I have given her my number and just ignored her?’ he asked, worried.

‘No,’ The Coincidental and I both agreed. Honesty is the best policy. We both remarked on how much harder it was to be honest in person rather than over text at a later stage, but both praised him on taking the best approach.

At this point in the evening he seemed equally interested inme and The Coincidental. We chatted easily enough, and when we settled down on some couches in the bar, he remarked how similar The Coincidental and I were, pointing out in particular just how approachable and easy to talk to we both were. I appreciated the observation – I think we are rather similar (ironic, given our near identical experiences on dates with The Skype Date, and the whole way we ended up meeting!). I’d also got the impression that he would happily have stayed chatting to either one of us, however, purely by chance of the seating arrangements, I ended up sat beside Mr MS.

We chatted for the best part of an hour, laughing about travel experiences, dating and work, before he excused himself to go to the bathroom. When he came back, I was at the bar getting a round of drinks for the girls. He came over and told me he was heading home. We’d been talking one-on-one for the majority of the time in the bar, and when he randomly came out with a comment about how much I reminded him of Lisa Snowdon (a very flattering comparison given the woman is a former model!) I took it as a good sign. Buoyed by my experiences last week with Streetmate, I did something I have never done before.

‘Would you like my number?’ I asked.

(The offer was prefaced with a joke about me being the second girl to ask him that evening – providing him with an opportunity to decline, as he had with the other girl.)

‘YES!’ His answer was immediate. No hesitation.

I gave him my number, and he rang my phone straight away, even though I didn’t have it on me. Something I took as a good sign – as he not only had my number, I now had his too.

I left the Simplicity3 event with a big grin – and not just because of my complimentary vibrator!

I’m in London this weekend for an ED reunion, and had remembered it was the Boat Race on Sunday – an event I haven’t been to since my second year in Cambridge. Thinking it might be a fun venue for a date, I sent Mr MS a text on Friday afternoon, acknowledging that it was quite last minute, but asking if he was free on Sunday, and did he fancy doing brunch followed by a wander down to Putney to watch the race.

The text message I received in response was probably one of the bluntest I’ve ever received! And the source of Mr MS’s blog name – Mr Mixed Signals!

‘Basically I’m going to have to say no thanks! I had fun meeting you last night – I’ll look out for the blog!’

What????

Why had he taken my number, and then given me his number? Especially when he’d outright said No to a girl earlier in the night, and then had a conversation with me and The Coincidental about how that was definitely the best approach to take if you weren’t interested.

I made a bit of a joke about how awkward the situation was, to which he simply replied ‘Haha enjoy the boat race’

I messaged The Coincidental, and she was as confused as I was. ‘Ehhh???? I’m surprised – I got the impression he was keen?’

So did I!

Figuring I had nothing to lose (I don’t even know the guy’s second name) I decided to ask him outright.

‘So I’m just gonna ask, because I’m genuinely confused and curious – did you not actually want to take my number last night? You could have just said? Or have you had second thoughts because I write a blog?’

‘It’s not the blog at all … must have been the vibe today’ (Erm, one text message, asking if you want to meet up for brunch????)

‘But your (sic) right – shouldn’t have taken your number last night!’

(The grammatical error amused me, the unnecessary use of the jovial exclamation mark angered me!)

I forwarded the message on to The Coincidental, and realized why we became friends so quickly.

‘Grammar – the difference between knowing your shit from you’re shit!’ she replied simply.

I’ve met hundreds of single men over the last ten months … And apparently I’m still just as clueless about guys when I started.

Or maybe there was a reason Mr MS came across as the most eligible man The Coincidental had met in years ….

He wasn’t. He also had his reasons for being single too!

Miss Twenty-Nine xxx

2 Comments on The Mystery of Mr MS

  1. I’m usually not one to prescribe to old fashioned gender rules, but my experiences have taught me the encounters that end up in relationships are always the one where the man was doing the active pursuing in the early stages – including asking for the number and initiating the first few dates. I’m not suggesting siiting back and waiting like a helpless damsel, but if you wait to see if they contact you to arrange a first date after you have swapped numbers, at least you can be sure that the interest is genuinely there. Personally, when I fancy someone, I don’t need to be reminded they exist so holding back a bit and waiting for him to suggest the first date isn’t going to make you lose out if he was interested in the first place: he’ll remember you and he’ll contact you.

    • I think you’re right Sandra- it’s interesting because by the very nature of the blog I’m a lot more proactive about instigating things these days, but I do think the male hunter-gatherer tradition is still embedded in our interactions with the opposite sex.
      And not necessarily in a bad way- I like tradition as much as the next girl. Miss 32 always says the way to work out whether someone likes you or not is very simply- is he texting you. And replying to a text is different to initiating one. There’s also the age old virtue of hanging back and not being too attainable- I don’t agree with many of ‘The Rules’, but wanting what you can’t have, or seeing someone as a challenge, have always been underlying factors in attraction. Thanks for commenting,
      Miss Twenty-Nine xxx

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