The reason relationships are so complicated, is because they always rely on another person. You can go on the best date of your life, and come away with wedding bells ringing in your ears, but if the other person doesn’t feel the same, it won’t amount to anything.
I’ve been on enough dates now to understand a good one when I see it. But I’ve also been on enough to know the difference between a really good date, and an incredible date. And normally the ‘incredible’ element comes from what follows the date.
Read what you will about playing hard to get, when someone wants something bad enough, he or she will do everything in their power to get it. And rules and games go out the window.
I’ve been on incredible dates before. The kind of dates you never want to end. And what makes those dates incredible is the fact the other person involved doesn’t want the date to end either. The kind of dates where you get home, and you’ve already got a text message from the other person. Or you wake up to a message the next day, telling you what a great time they had.
When someone really wants something, they act on it.
Men may be from Mars, and women from Venus … but when it comes down to it, when we click with someone on a first date, all of us get that same, excited butterflies feeling. Regardless of whether you’re a guy or a girl, you end up grinning from ear to ear, and replaying choice parts of the date in your head.
And then there are those dates which went really well The ones where you can’t stop smiling, and you’re thinking about the girl or guy just as much … but the aftermath is just a bit … luke warm.
You got a text message, but it wasn’t quite as quick as you expected. Or it’s rather non-comittal.
Your date is still keeping in touch, but they’re not committing to anything. There’s no mention of a second date … No concrete admittance that they had a great time and want to do it again. They just keep you guessing.
In my experience, that’s not how someone really excited about you acts. And trust me, you’re great, and you deserve someone is genuinely excited by you. Not someone who needs to be coaxed, cajoled or flirted into a second date.
We all deserve to be with someone who leaves their first date with us, and can’t wait for the second!
In the last year, I’ve had several really good dates. Liaisons with guys who I would have happily met for a second time. Men who piqued my interest. And I know they had a good time. But for whatever reason, they didn’t come away excited enough about me. They liked me enough to keep me hanging. To keep me on their roster. Someone to give them attention when they needed it. A fun girl, who they knew would answer a random text message.
They’d send a couple of personalised flirty messages – enough to show they remembered things about me. They’d use ‘private jokes’ from our first date, and toy with me enough to make me think something more would happen … and then back away just as quickly – one big game of cat and mouse.
One step forward, two steps back … it all reminds me of some elaborate, old-fashioned dance. And do you know what – I’ve never found that kind of dancing particularly fun! My idea of dancing is throwing my hands over my head, and fully committing to the music … (cue embarrassing photo exhibit from my oldest brother’s wedding ….)
And do you know what …. that’s how I like the start of my relationships to be too!
Hands above your head, music blaring, rollercoaster hands above your head, exciting fun.
Not awkwardly taking two steps forward, when the guy was expecting me to back away, and accidentally treading on his toes!
Lots of metaphors, I know – but hopefully the right message is in there somewhere.
When a guy (or a girl) really likes you – he’ll show it. He won’t play an elaborate game of cat and mouse with you – he’ll just cut to the chase. All that excitement you’re feeling – he’ll be feeling it too, and he’ll want to see you again – he won’t string out the whole second date question over more than a day or two.
A really good date is a lovely feeling.
But an incredible date is far better …. So why settle for anything less than incredible?
Miss Twenty-Nine xxx