I talk a lot on 30 Dates about Body Confidence, because I believe it comes hand in hand with dating successfully. The old adage that you need to love yourself, before you can let someone else love you.
But there’s one part of body confidence I’ve never touched upon. Or rather … one part of the body.
As I mentioned the other day, us girls don’t tend to look at other women’s bodies all that much. It’s one of the reasons I think we’re so hard on ourselves. While men change in front of each other from an early age, and shower together after sport, girls will hide their bodies at all cost, and compare themselves only to magazine perfect ideals.
And one part of eachother’s bodies we certainly never compare is our lady gardens.
Most straight women will only have ever really seen their own parts up close. And even the ‘up close’ will have been at arm’s length.
Genitalia are not attractive. It’s the rest of our bodies which draw a suitor to our genitalia, and by that point, none of us care too much what we’re dealing with! But because it’s a part of the body so seldom discussed or looked at, it can be hard to know if ‘you’re normal’!
This week, I had the most hilarious delivery. Around a thousand pounds worth of sex toys. God only know what my neighbours would have thought, if I hadn’t been the one to answer the door! I’ve also got a delivery of about a thousand condoms coming for goodie bags for the Go To Girls workshops! (And they never see me leave the house to go to work…! Oh dear … we’ll leave the assumptions there!)
The sex toys are for a You Tube channel which I’ll be setting up soon with male dating expert Matt Chappell. We’ll be filming dating advice videos, and one of the segments will involve discussion about sex toys. More on that very soon … But the sex toy delivery is thanks to SexToys.co.uk.
(Yes, that is my coffee table … LOL!!)
It’s impossible to receive a huge package and not open it up (even when you know it mainly contains vibrating vaginas and ‘fleshlights’!). And so I opened up the box, and faced with two of the aforementioned vaginas, and pornstar vaginas disguised as torches and beer cans, I realised something really important
As women, we openly talk about sex toys. Since I was about twenty, Rampant Rabbits and vibrators have been things I chat to my female friends about over wine. But when it comes to the other side of the sex toy industry, I’m completely clueless. Until Matt mentioned the word ‘fleshlight’, I’d never even heard of one.
And here I was faced with four of the things!
But that wasn’t the important thing I realised.
What I realised is how important it is that us girls are aware of these things. In a world where people pay money for designer vaginas, where female circumcision is a horrid reality, and where most teenager girls will hit puberty and see their labia change shape, but be too embarrassed to ask what is ‘normal’ …. We all make assumptions about what is considered attractive down there …. and honestly, it’s worth having a Google of a sex toy website before jumping to any conclusions!
Google ‘fleshlight’ or ‘vibrating vagina’ on a sex toy website. And actually take a moment to look at the rubber lady parts which pop up. Most of them have been ‘modelled’ on porn stars (In some cases, I genuinely think they have been made with plaster casts). These are women who make money from their vaginas. And these are vaginas which men are paying decent sums of money to play with on a regular basis.
Take a moment to look at them … because none of them look the same! They are all unique. None of them are particularly attractive! Very few are symmetrical, and they all have what I would consider ‘lifelike’ labia.
Take a moment to look at them – because these are the holy grail of vaginas! So next time you wonder what an ‘attractive’ vagina looks like … the answer is very similar to my article about getting naked in front of a guy.
You should never find yourself worrying that you look unattractive … even from THAT angle. Because trust me, as long as you have decent hygiene and grooming standards, all he’s gonna be thinking is ‘There’s a naked girl in the room … and I’m about to get laid!’ 😉
Miss Twenty-Nine xxx