A Lesson in Honesty – The Funniest Tinder Tale I’ve Ever Heard!

When you write about dating, unsurprisingly people want to talk to you about dating.  And the thing about dating, is that most people have one or two stories of their own to tell!

As I mentioned yesterday, I was at a house party at the weekend.  One of the boys hosting the party was introducing me to his neighbours, and mentioned that I’m a dating blogger.

“Oh my god!  You have to hear her story!” one of the girls replied immediately.  “Come on, tell her your Tinder story!”

Now, normally when someone says that, I don’t expect to be surprised, or even overly entertained.  After 15 months on Tinder, I’ve seen every odd photo profile imaginable, and been sent enough cock shots to start a very odd porn business.

But I definitely underestimated Saturday night’s Tinder tale.

The Neighbour was in her very early twenties, just finishing her final year at Uni in London.  She matched with a friend of a friend, and they went on a pretty good first date.  When he asked her out a second time, she agreed, but the second date didn’t go so well.

Not wanting to turn him down, when he asked her out on a third date, she started trying to make excuses instead.  Every time he suggested an evening, she’d say she was busy, or find a reason not to meet.

Finally, the Tinder Date suggested a drink on a Friday night.  “I can’t,” she lied.  “I’ve got lectures until late, and then I’m off to Oxford for the weekend to visit friends.”

Undeterred, the Tinder Date found a pub between the Neighbour’s university and the bus station.  “Just stop for one drink on your way to Oxford, it’s been ages, I’d really love to see you.”

Again, the Neighbour didn’t want to let him down.  And so, she decided to meet him for a quick drink.  Except she wasn’t at university that day, and she wasn’t planning on going to Oxford.  Realising she needed to look like she was going away for a weekend, she quickly packed a travel bag.  She didn’t want to carry around a heavy bag, and so she filled the holdall with cushions from the sofa.  After all, she wasn’t going anywhere … it just needed to look like she was!

The Neighbour turned up at the bar, pretending she’d just come from University.  The Tinder Date ordered a drink, and conversation began to flow.  Suddenly the Neighbour found herself more interested in the Tinder Date than she expected to be.  One drink, turned into two, which turned into five, and suddenly The Tinder Date was worrying that the Neighbour might miss her coach.

He checked the timetable, and insisted she leave to go and get her bus.

“I’ll be fine!” the Neighbour tried to drunkenly argue, but he was having none of it.  The Tinder Date seemed like a really nice guy, and determined not to be responsible for making her miss her mythical bus journey, he paid the bill, hailed a cab, and put the Neighbour in it.

He paid the driver, and told him “Make sure she gets on the last bus to Oxford.  She’s had a bit to drink, but she needs to get on the bus!”

The taxi took off, and the Neighbour tried to redirect him back to her house.  “Sorry miss, the fella’s paid me for the journey already, and I’ve made a promise to get you on the last bus!”

“But it’s all a lie!” she tried to argue. The more she argued, the more drunk and out of control she seemed.

Finally she decided to get out at the bus station, and then catch another taxi home.  But when she got out of the cab, so did the taxi driver.

“I’ve got a responsibility to get you on that bus!” he grinned, guiding her towards the Oxford coach, and even going so far as to step onboard with her.  On board, he repeated the instructions he’d been given by the Tinder Date.  “Please can you make sure she gets to Oxford ok?  She’s quite drunk, but she needs to be on the bus!”

By this point the Neighbour had given up arguing.  She waited for the taxi driver to leave, and then said to the bus driver.  “Please can you drop me at the next stop?  I really don’t need to go to Oxford!”

The next stop was Oxford Park and Ride … and the bus driver refused to stop anywhere else.

The Neighbour ended up stranded in Oxford, with a bag full of sofa cushions, all because she didn’t have the guts to turn down the Tinder Date.

And so there’s a big lesson to be learned.  You might think you’re doing the right thing … trying to let someone down gently, and not having to properly address the elephant in the room – that you’re not that into him or her.  But one lie or half truth can lead to the most ridiculous of circumstances … as the Neighbour’s crazy story proves.

Next time you go to sugarcoat the truth, think of the Neighbour, standing at Oxford Park & Ride, at 2am, armed with nothing but a load of floral cushions!

Miss Twenty-Nine xxx