Meet the Dating Expert – Natalie Alexander

Every week on 30 Dates, I ask dating industry experts to write guest posts for the blog.

This week the ‘City Matchmaker’, Natalie Alexander joins the blog to talk about Success and the City.

The Power Couple: Success and the City

 How did it all begin?

The role of women has evolved greatly over the past century and with this came an even bigger shift in the dynamics of relationships. Women were no longer confined to traditional female roles and so women started ditching the apron for a suit, the broom for a briefcase and began to strive for equality in the workplace. Unexpectedly, with this, came a shift in the qualities considered to be attractive in a woman. Confident, well-educated, driven women became sexy and with this new focus on the new woman, it came as no surprise that the Power Couple was born.

What does this mean in the modern world?

The Power Couple became a pairing associated with success and ambition. For those who didn’t want to put their career on the backburner the Power Couple was seen as the perfect match, to meet someone who shared your drive and ambition. But why does it seem harder than ever to find the right guy when there are so many singles working in the City?

Let’s consider some of the possible explanations for this:

1. Women don’t let their guard down

In this modern age it’s arguably more difficult to find the perfect match, especially for highflying City professionals! We spend so long fighting for our position in the workplace that we find it hard to let our guard down. A common problem I often observe with successful career-minded women is that they find it difficult to let go of some of their independence and show any sign of vulnerability in their relationship. Particularly since women in the City work in male-dominated industries where vulnerability is perceived as a weakness. We try so hard to be seen as unbreakable that it then becomes hard for anyone to get through to us and break that barrier.

2. Our expectations about love are misguided by the many rom-coms that permeate our culture

Our generation has been referred to as the ‘get what you want’ generation…we can get anything, anywhere, anytime we want it. This is especially true for the affluent City professionals working in London. And so when your career is on track and you’re living the high life, it seems only natural to expect the same high standard in a partner! We want someone who possesses the style of Don Draper and the romantic devotion of Heathcliff, and so when we don’t get all of these qualities we’re often dissatisfied. Instead however, I believe that our romantic imagination has led us astray, we expect a Hollywood fairy tale full of extravagant gestures. We seek fluffy love instead of the real love that is key to a happy and healthy relationship in the modern world. My advice would be to relax on the first date, let the chemistry develop and not be defined by your CV, the guy wants to get to know you…it’s not an interview!

3. We don’t believe we can be successful in both our career and romantic life

Many women who strive for a successful career often don’t believe that they have time for a romantic life, but that’s just plain wrong! Speaking from experience, it is possible, it may just be that you’re not looking in the right place. We all know that it’s not professional to date a colleague and so meeting someone at work isn’t an option. Blind dates set up by friends can be a miserable experience and if the date goes wrong not only do you question their taste in men but also what they think of you. This is why I chose to set up City Matchmaker which creates the perfect opportunity for single City professionals to meet each other in a social and friendly setting, so you no longer need to leave it to fate. Helping to create the perfect Power Couple!

My top 5 inspirational power couples are –

• Bill and Melinda Gates
• Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier III
• Queen Victoria and Prince Albert
• Jay-Z and Beyoncé
• Frank and Claire Underwood (House of Cards)

Natalie Alexander is the Founder and Managing Director of City Matchmaker – a matchmaking events business for City professionals in London. Natalie has worked in investment banking for 9 years and was shortlisted Best Dating Newcomer at the UK Dating Awards 2014.

City Matchmaker hosts exclusive social events for busy City professionals helping them in their search for happy and long-lasting relationships. We don’t believe in computer algorithms or cheesy speed dating events and that’s why we’ve taken a new approach. Our events have a special twist with sophisticated and entertaining activities ranging from cocktail making to wine tasting. Members of City Matchmaker are carefully vetted, which means we can be confident that the people you meet are right for you. If you’re interested in joining our network, then simply send us an enquiry here or contact us at info@citymatchmaker.co.uk.