Facebook is an interesting form of social media. For the most part it’s remained a place where you don’t talk to strangers. Whilst My Space was set up with search functions for people in your area, and in the very early days of Facebook you could search for people based on things other than their name, these days you need to at least know someone’s name to find him or her on Facebook. And even then, very few people accept people they don’t know as friends. Whilst Twitter allows you to share your opinions with the world, for the most part Facebook keeps your conversations with a smaller social circle.
And so, whilst you may find new love on Facebook, normally it’s with someone who you either knew before, or it’s a friend of a friend. Rarely do people find romance on Facebook with total strangers. Looking back, I remember the age when people ‘poked’ people they fancied. I can also trace at least two relationships of mine which began on Facebook, when I rediscovered friends from the past.
However the most interesting aspect of relationships, that I’ve found on Facebook, is the way that all Facebook sleazes seem to behave in the same way on the site. There’s almost an unspoken etiquette of the Facebook sleaze. Odd behaviour, but behaviour which they all seem to end up mimicking.
The Creepy Facebook Like
I’ve met many a Facebook sleaze in my time … normally colleagues who I vaguely know from the office, who I would never count as friends, but who I feel obliged to accept friend requests from, because I work with them. There is no better way of letting someone know that you are Facebook stalking them, than by ‘liking’ a really old photo. It shows you have gone through all their photos, to get to the old one which you have liked.
Side note … A great way to abuse someone else’s Facebook account, should they leave it open, is to pick a random member of the opposite sex, and click like on a really old profile picture. The person you’d Fraped (awful phrase I know) will never know you did anything, but the recipient will be suitably creeped out.
The Full Facebook Stalk
Less subtle than the casual creepy like, is the full Facebook stalk. This can be achieved by either commenting on old Facebook photos, sending messages about old photo albums, or worse, discussing what they have seen on your Facebook in person.
The Disappearing Act
Far less obvious, but this for me is the defining characteristic of a true Facebook sleaze, and a pattern I have seen time and time again on Facebook. The type of sleaze who pulls the disappearing act is in a committed relationship. He may start with casual comments. Maybe he pokes you (yes, in 2015 …). Then when you don’t poke him back (because it’s 2015!) he moves on to flattering messages. Nothing too overt – nothing that would be classed as cheating – but enough to show he’s interested. Too interested. The coupled-up sleaze will try to engage you in conversation.
And then just like that he will disappear. No doubt because he’s been trying to flirt with several other women on Facebook, and he’s been caught by his other half.
The thing about the disappearing act, is that usually these men will reappear … before disappearing again, and again, and again. Which can be quite entertaining if you have replied back, no matter how politely or innocently … as their Facebook photo will disappear, and reappear, and disappear, from your Facebook inbox.
The Banned Man
This is the final state of Facebook sleaze. The man who has been so promiscuous on Facebook (or whose partner doesn’t trust him enough) that he is no longer ‘allowed’ a Facebook account.
Ladies of the world – if you don’t trust your partner enough to let him have a Facebook account, he should not be your partner.
Men of the world – if your behaviour means you are not allowed a Facebook account, you clearly shouldn’t be with your partner. And if your behaviour doesn’t warrant a ban … you still shouldn’t be with your partner!
Miss Twenty-Nine xxx