Meet The Dating Expert – Lisa Schmidt
This week out featured Dating Expert comes from ‘across the Pond’. Meet Lisa Schmidt – otherwise known as the Detroit Date Coach!
Miss Twenty-Nine xxx
Four Tips to Better Flirting
Did you know that 55% of flirting is body language? So think twice before you stand there with your arms crossed, or turn away from someone mid-conversation!
The one thing I teach my male clients about flirting and approaching people is to stop putting women above them. They need to learn how to read body language before approaching or making a first move. I further emphasize the fact that when women quickly or immediately reject them, this has absolutely nothing to do with them. If a man approaches a woman in an appropriate way, there is absolutely no reason why he should be discounted instantly.
I also advise women to stop waiting for “that moment”, as if it were a movie. Life is not scripted and neither is love.
Here are some great body language cues to use and be aware of, next time you are out and about, or on a date:
1) Flirt with Your Eyes
Make and hold eye contact with someone you find appealing for 5-10 seconds. Keep the eye contact as you walk toward them for your approach. If it’s a first date, do the same by keeping eye contact while talking. This is the most direct way to show interest with a “stranger”. Additionally, this is by far the easiest way to flirt.
2) Flirt with a Smile
While you have eye contact, flash a smile to express your intent even further. The added smile says “I’m interested” and shows you’re not just looking around. On a date? Smile as much as possible. It is your best accessory and shows your date that you are actually enjoying yourself.
3) Flirt by Fronting the Merchandise
Face the person you’re flirting with. I always tell clients to look down briefly while they are talking to someone. Where are their feet pointed? Towards the person they’re talking to, or away? Close the gap by leaning in – make it a space fit for two!
4) Flirt with Touch
If you’re not sure how to flirt with touch or are just too scared to, that;s okay. This is a skill that you can learn very easily.
There are several ways to touch someone when flirting, without seeming grabby. If they lean into you while talking, gently place your hand on their elbow or arm. This keeps them in your space and also shows that you want to hear what they have to say. If you are sharing a laugh, place your hand on their arm (if standing) or brush their hand (while seated, if it’s on the table).
If the conversation is flowing nicely, suggest you move to a more intimate corner or table to talk. Guide them by putting a hand on them. An elbow or the middle of the back will do.
You might not be an expert yet, but you can improve your flirting by simply taking the focus off yourself. The cornerstone to flirting well is reading the other person. You must also remain true to who you are. Don’t believe the hype of PUA techniques. If you want to get someone’s attention and keep it, just be yourself.
Lisa Schmidt is an experienced dating advice writer and blogger, certified dating coach and matchmaker. You can find out more at Detroit Date Coach or follow her on Twitter @detroitdate.
“Be yourself” is not necessarily the best advice for some people… 🙂