So, dating when you’re fresh out of a long term relationship is always going to be strange. Bear in mind that the last time I really played this dating game, I was a fresh faced 23 year old just out of college and was not really sure what I wanted!
Having had a taste of life on the other side of the relationship road, being with someone for over 6 years, I now have a much clearer picture of what I want.
The problem I have now is that I seem to compare everyone I meet to the ex. In some ways that’s ok, looking at the stuff I didn’t like, but it’s much harder when I think of all the good things.
That’s where the emotions kick in. I can’t help but think about the happy times and all the stuff I loved when I think about moving on.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t! It’s easy to go out and start talking to guys. It’s even easy to have a little kiss with them. However the thought of an actual date still gives me the heebie-jeebies!!
On a date, you’re putting yourself out there in a way that’s different from just your average night out. I almost feel vulnerable. It’s not a feeling I’m used to, or that I’m sure I like! I’m sure we all feel it at times, but when you’re not used to it in this vein, i.e. dating and romance, it’s a weird one to get your head round!
Not that I’m not trying!
Tinder, for me, seems to be an excellent starting place. I have begun conversations with a few guys that haven’t led anywhere. However in the last week, I have started chatting to someone and we have actually scheduled (cue dramatic music!) a date!!
This will be my first real date since the end of my relationship and honestly, I’m terrified! Now don’t get me wrong, this guy looks lovely and the communication we’ve been having is great, but I don’t know if I’m putting too much pressure on the situation.
Mister Mischief commented on my last post with some insights into how the other half of a rebound relationship sees things and his first observation was her inability not to compare to her previous relationship.
Now I wish I could say that I won’t be doing this, but I can already tell you I will be.
Miss Twenty-Nine has talked before about The Eclipse Effect, and until someone does that, I think I will continue to compare. A six year relationship isn’t something that just disappears over night!
I need one big eclipse!
Or maybe it’ll be a gradual one.
The first step is the first date, so I’m on the right road. Let’s just see where this one leads.