The Ninth Date of Christmas (The Student)

I haven’t been the only one trying to arrange dates over the festive period!  The Student was back down in the capital for her university holidays, and as a true Experimental Dater, than meant one thing … Christmas Dating!

(I’d just like to add, I think ‘The Accidental Swipe’ is my favourite blog name for a guy ever!!)

Miss Twenty-Nine xxx

I had hoped that my next date write-up for Miss Twenty-Nine was going to be a few days earlier and starring Marathon Man as my partner. Alas, it was not to be and I sit here ready to type my reflections on a date with a very different person.

So what happened to Marathon and the date I was supposed to go on? Well, I shall tell you all about it!

Early last week Marathon and I had agreed to go on a post-Christmas date and I was looking forward to seeing Marathon again in a more normal dating situation as it was easiest to get to know each other this way. On the 24^th Marathon texted saying could I think of something to do as he was ill and so feeling less than creative?

Okay… fine. I wasn’t pleased about this complete refusal to take any control. Normally one person has to take control to organise a date, but he didn’t have to be so blunt about it! Also, Marathon has left the organisation up to me previously, citing not knowing London nor Sheffield as well as I do as reasons. This continued fear of responsibility was really beginning to grate on me as I don’t like being left with all the leg work, not to mention an unassertive male is hugely unattractive….

I ignored this text, half out of annoyance, but also as I was swept into the limbo world of Christmastime. When I emerged again on the agreed day for our date (the 27^th), I was feeling far more lenient towards him as a few days stuck with my family and I was more than ready to go dating and exploring with someone else! I’d also decided I was pleased that I had control, though I was still annoyed at Marathon for the manner in which he relinquished all responsibility, as with the 12 Dates of Christmas in mind,I had been hoping to organise a Christmas-themed date for the two of us.

I texted Marathon asking if he was still keen to meet up later, he affirmed that he was indeed. Great, so to the internet I went in search of something festive to occupy us! I admit I may have spent rather a large portion of my day in this endeavour than is strictly healthy as I have two essays and exam revision that I am resolutely avoiding at the moment, so I was ecstatic that I could spend a whole day procrastinating. Many hours later I settled on one of the oldest pubs in London that had been frequented by Charles Dickens, I figured a ye olde style date might be quite fun and help with a Christmas spirit.

I returned to my phone once again to set things in motion with Marathon, asking him to meet me at Covent Garden station, time not yet specified. I then realise that he drives from Surrey every day for work so Covent Garden might not be so easy for him. So I text again checking if he might prefer a meeting point that he could drive to as I could not guarantee he could stay the night at mine. (Last time we dated in London he missed his last train home so had stayed at mine, I deliberately wanted to tell him this time that this wasn’t always an option) He responds saying that he’d worked at home that day so didn’t want to drive into London during rush hour as he would arrive too late so could we raincheck?

Sorry, what? I don’t buy that excuse. If that had been a problem he should have said, before making me organise the whole evening. Or at least texted me when he felt it was becoming inconvenient so we could alter the plan accordingly. But he waits to hear that he can’t stay over to suddenly have a problem, funny that.

Marathon could have easily said he was working from home so would prefer to meet earlier on a Saturday rather than drive in over the evening. He also could have easily taken a train… apparently these contraptions don’t exist in his brain.

That was Friday, it’s now Tuesday, New Year’s Eve, and I haven’t replied to the raincheck text. I’m too unimpressed. If he wants to reorganise, sure I’ll go along but I ain’t saying squat right now.

I was annoyed also as I’d wanted to get a date in before New Year’s. So after Marathon fell through I took to Tinder to try and score a date over the weekend. By Saturday evening I’d somehow broken my app, hugely devastating, so was feeling all hope was lost.

On Sunday I’d fixed it and was back swiping brutally and ferociously again. Hoorah! And what did I find when I logged back in again, a message! I checked to see who had spoken to me over my absence and forlornly noticed that it was the guy that I’d accidentally swiped yes instead of no for. Of course, sod’s law and all that.

This guy was 37. 37. I’m 22.

I don’t really tend to have a problem with age gaps as I’ve found guys my age lack the emotional maturity of girls of the same age. So for the past few years I’ve only really been interested in guys at least two or three years older (Marathon excepted), but a fifteen year age gap seemed a bit much to me. There gets a point where two people can’t connect or understand each other as their worlds are too different.

However, it was Sunday evening and I desperately wanted to get a date in before New Year’s, and the 30^th was now my only option! So I responded to his message, which had asked me for a date outright, no funny biz, which had been pretty appealing at this stage! We decided to see if we could meet up on Monday evening (he wasn’t too certain on his schedule yet) or otherwise meet on New Year’s Day if we weren’t too hungover…

Monday comes, and I had a busy day with friends in town. We went for lunch, the National Portrait Gallery and then for some drinks. Being totally distracted by seeing my friends, whom I hadn’t seen since we all left Sheffield for Christmas, I’d forgotten about The Accidental Swipe. He texts whilst we’re having drinks just off Trafalgar Square. He wanted to meet in Camden around seven. It was already 5, damn. Would I have time to get home, change and look at my face before heading out again? I also had half a glass of sauvignon to finish!

I have to sacrifice going home and looking at myself properly and instead head straight for Camden once I depart from my friends. This told me everything about how fussed I was about this guy! I definitely wasn’t dressed for a date (leggings and a t-shirt and then a shirt – my ultimate lazy day outfit) and I’d left my hair in the plait I’d put it in the night before, which was by now wild and unruly.

We met at the station. He was definitely older than me! But he was friendly and confident, so I was looking forward to getting to know him. I took control (being a Camden veteran – it’s my neck of the woods) and shuttled us to the Blue’s Kitchen. It’s always packed, cares about it’s drinks and live blues plays every single night without fail. Unfortunately, as per, it was packed, no room at the inn for sitting. So we only stood for one drink, a Tom Collins for me and a Japanese whisky for him (?!). Whilst we stood awkwardly sipping our drinks in the dark bar Accidental Swipe told me about how he’d got a degree in law but found it too easy and had a mildly successful music career but also chose to give that up as it wasn’t challenging him either. Right…

I mean we all like confidence in a partner, but sheer hyperbolic arrogance, no thanks.

We finished our drinks and agreed to move on to a restaurant and this time Accidental took control, he asked how I felt about Japanese food (judging by his curious penchant for Japanese whisky, he clearly felt very good about it!), I was delighted by the suggestion as I’d felt a bit carbbed out by a disappointing fish and chips at an unassuming pub in Covent Garden at lunch. We entered a Japanese place where The Accidental was greeted warmly by the staff, turns out he ordered from there nearly four or five times a week… Not sure how I felt about that borderline obsession!!

Our conversation began to wane over dinner, though we covered lots of topics (travel, work, New Years plans), they never seemed to lead anywhere. He didn’t make me excited or curious to learn more about him, and that’s usually what I go by to judge whether I’ll be friends with someone, let alone attracted to them!! Clearly Accidental picked up on this as he asked me no less than three times of the course of our short dinner whether the evening was too boring for me. That’s an irritating question to be asked once at the most. I think he felt because I was young I’d rather be at a gig or downing dirty pints on a date.

After dinner we went on to another dark pub for a last drink, which I finished rather hastily. I made my excuses and was home by ten, in time for the Made in Chelsea party… My priorities were clearly in another direction!

So my first Tinder date didn’t exactly lead me to a guy I was willing to date again, but The Accidental was a gentleman, interesting and very nice. Just not my type, that’s all.

I have come back from it ready to jump into a dating world in 2014 and excited about what the new year will bring for us all!

Happy New Year guys!!!

XXX