Those of you who follow the blog on Twitter will have been waiting for this write-up with bated breath. A few days ago our very own Southern Belle went on a not-so-blind, but rather ‘obscured’ date. She’d seen two very different photographs of her date, and she wanted us to try to guess which one would turn out to be most accurate.
You can find out the answer below … and the outcome of the date 🙂 (Though the question I’m still asking, having read it already …. is how did she get her phone to ring itself??!! 😉 )
Miss Twenty-NIne xxx
Last night I actually had a moment where had I been able to turn around and not attend the date, I would have done just that.
I started speaking to the Professor on Monday and his profile was incredibly well written and funny. He was a little older, ex-military (I’m a sucker) and studying to be a History teacher. We texted briefly back and forth, he invited me for coffee on Monday night. I had to work out so I declined and we rescheduled for Tuesday.
I always find it tricky when people have different photos of themselves online in very different states of appearance. In one of his photos, the Professor was a scruffy, cheerful faced normal looking guy. In the other.. long hair, longer beard, flamed shirt and a closed eyed expression of ecstasy while playing a bass guitar. I mentioned on Twitter that I was interested to see which picture he resembled now but his personality over text seemed to be such that it wouldn’t be too dreadful either way.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I picked a place close to both our homes and made sure to say that I’d got an early start, so couldn’t stay out too long.
As I pulled up to the coffee shop, I craned my neck to see inside but couldn’t recognize him straight away. As I opened the door I scanned the room quickly and .. there he was. 6’4, weighing about 130lbs/9 stone. Dark red shirt, tweed waistcoat, tweed pants. Black combat boots. A pocket watch. And the beard.. oh dear god. It was so long it covered his neck.
It was as if an uglier version of Tom Hanks in Castaway had put on a three piece suit to fuck with me. His face lit up and he bounded over with a glass of wine in his hand to give me a hug. I ordered a very small coffee and we went to sit outside, the Texas humidity ruining my hair within about 2 mins of sitting down.
We talked a little bit and within about 10 minutes I knew I had to make an escape. He was 41. Left the military 18 years ago because he “Didn’t like authority after all”. He never went on an active deployment, just worked on a base in Oklahoma for a few years. I asked him what he did directly afterwards and his answer was vague. Needed to contemplate the true meaning of what he wanted to do with his life. For one of those missing 18 years, he’d been a bass guitarist in a band. Currently he’s studying for his Bachelor’s degree in History with a view to teach in the future. Lives a mile away from my house in a shared room with 4 other people. At 41. No kitchen. At 41. He believes in getting back to a simple way of living. For money, he picks up one shift a week at a local Tex-Mex restaurant, which feeds him on that day.
Appearance aside, he was so far behind me in terms of life in general and goals for the future I literally could not wait to get away. His conversation was boring and all about himself, not asking me one question. I was about to make a lame excuse when I saw a couple of my friends, Patrick & Candace turn up.
Now I know Patrick and Candace through my recent ex, the bartender. They are sweet and lovely people, parents to a 6 month old baby girl whom they had with them. They have never asked questions about what happened with my ex and have treated me with nothing but kindness since. Patrick said a quick hello and headed inside to order while Candace brought over beautiful baby Lydia to say hi and have a cuddle.
Now, potentially this was my mistake.. but I didn’t want to introduce him. I saw no reason to. Apparently however, he very much wanted to know my friends because he introduced himself. As my date. My first date. Proceeded to tell Candace how well it was going.
To her credit, she smiled patiently and sweetly then went inside with the baby. God knows what she and Patrick think of me right now other than I’ve lost my goddamn mind.
I had hit my limit 46 minutes in so said I was tired and needed to go home. He offered to walk me to my vehicle and as I resigned myself to the inevitable, my phone rang.
It was my neighbor. My foster puppy had escaped.
Naturally, I entered full on panic mode immediately, made my excuses and legged it. Thankfully Foster Puppy broke back in and was sat on the sofa when I got home, quietly minding her own business.
I sent The Professor a quick text message apologizing for my hasty exit and saying it was nice to meet him. His reply was instantaneous and wanting to meet up again this weekend. I will make my apologies today and send him on his way.
Next up: A Norwegian called Thor!!!